coming up for air

breath......

sink deep into the waters .......

deeper....

deeper still.....

now the burn, my lungs begin to burn...

it is air they need,

push off the bottom to get momentum,

soar to the top,

and

come up for air....



I haven't blogged in a month... Not due to a lack of material to blog with. We have been in some deep waters... currents pulling in various directions... the joys of being back home....

I will do a sprint and try to catch you up. Perhaps I will even update later with some photos!



We arrived home in the final days of March, to a bit of a snow storm. After meeting Oma and Opa for pizza at Nicks, an hour after our arrival, we came home and crashed. We unpacked the vehicle the following day, after Rob shoveled the driveway....Welcome home! Then there was shopping to do, returning the rental and all that fun stuff. I needed something to wear to the movie premier on Sunday!

That Saturday (the very next morning) was Liberty Days, held this year in a new location. It was wonderful , but in our exhaustion, and with the looming realization that we still had NO food in our home, we scooted out early and went grocery shopping.

The next morning we woke up and had eggs :) It was still too soon to miss Miss Darlene or Mr. Mike cooking for us... and we were thrilled to head off to church. Service with Pastor George was fabulous, as USUAL! I truly believe he has been anointed by God to both preach and shepherd, and I thank God for George and what the Lord is doing in him : ) It was so wonderful to see everyone again.

After church, we were exhausted, gee I wonder why... We all napped, because hmmmmm, we hadn't stopped running yet. : ) Sunday was the movie premier in the city. (for those of my friends from MA, I will translate, for folks from the northern half of illinois,"the city", does NOT mean the city you live in . It always, and I do mean ALWAYS means Chicago, unless otherwise specified. When we here say "I went downtown", unless it is followed up with "downtown Mt. Prospect, or downtown Elgin" it always, yes, always means Chicago. ) After a lite yet elegant dinner at a nice restaurant, we headed off to a very new, very snazzy theater to see the premier. It was Realistic Films Production, by our own Patrick Christl ! Woo hoo Pat! The title of the film is Ends Runaway, and it has been submitted to several Film festivals. It was a very good film, the visuals were great, even the premise was captivating. It does not however hold up to the true biblical account of Salvation, and does leave you with the feeling that we are all good and all good enough to get into heaven, which as it may sadden me to say, is not the case... if you are uncertain about whether or not YOU would, go to www.goodtest.com . Aside from that I thought the film was terrific. : ) I get the firm impression that our Cousin Pat has found a place where he is not only comfortable, but well suited, behind a camera, directing, casting out his vision and bringing to an audience stories that go a step beyond a facade, and that light up a screen. The acting was quite good, and the visual, the look of the film was exceptional. It is a short film, not a feature length. Rob says it is better than Lucas' first film : ) that is a big compliment from Rob.... It is being submitted to film festivals around the world, if it gets in, I will let you know!



anyway on to Monday ... Rob took monday off. You see, from what i wrote that we still have NOT unpacked, and only unloaded the vehicle. (that is Buddy's word for Suburban... everywhere we drive he will see them, and say "LOOK a blue vehicle... ""or LoooK!!! a Red vehicle." How we figured this out, was detective work! Pure Agatha Christie over here... "So Buddy do you see the green vehicle?" "NOOOOOO that is a green pick up truck Mama" So this is how we learned... Only Suburbans are "Vehicle", Buddy finally just told us what everything in the parking lot was... Oh, all fast cars are GTO's. Just so ya know : )
Oh, and bills, lots and lots of bills were wanting to be paid, and so many a check was written that sad monday.



Tuesday was school, laundry, more unpacking, and lots of phone calls to return. Wednesday, was more of the same. Thursday was more of the same, and some errands, and some skating! Friday was going into the city to help decorate for a shower for my future sister in Law LIZ! Saturday was the Shower! Sunday was getting to Church for more great preachin', and packing up Rob to go back to MA. He spent a week out there at our Favorite Hotel : ) Though was bummed he didn't get a Miss Darlene blueberry pancake : ( He loves Miss Darlene's blueberry pancakes! )And my week was busy.

Boy scouts, 3 allergist appointments, soccer, cleaning, tidying, preparing for a birthday party on Saturday! Rush rush rush, clean clean clean, teach teach teach, shop and call..... Monday Sara had me over and I brought supper, and the kids played and it was a breath of fresh air Wednesday I went out with my folks hunting for Robs birthday present :) We bought him a new bike!

Friday night he came home around midnight and we stayed up a bit to chat. Saturday's soccer game cancelled because of the Rain, and so a few more things to buy, tables to be set up, and home to get the finishing touches for the party... Rob's 40th!!!!

The party started great, almost everyone arrived, Rob was getting ready to pick up the pizza's, and our home was packed with about 30 or so people, when the phone rang. I only answered it because caller ID said it was my neighbor, and she is just terrific, and never makes it long.... The phone was staticccy, and she wasn't answering, I kept saying hello, when she finally said my name and said "come over", the phone went dead, and my heart raced, as the dark cloud hovered. I grabbed Rob's flip flops and ran out in my skirt and short sleeved shirt, running through the grass, and our flooded yards, my feet caked in muddy water, unlocking the gate and there was no answer at the back door, so I ran around to the front, Rob and his brother following me, there she was. My dear friend, sitting on her steps, with a police woman. John was dead... our John, our friend and neighbor, her love, her sweet heart, her best friend, was dead. The Lord had took him from her. And there she sat in the snowy sleet, grieving, in anguish. It was my most greatest honors to sit with her, to hold her, listen to her, and simply be with her in the time that followed, the time waiting for the detectives, and then for the coroner, the waiting for family, the making of phone calls. It is the last thing you ever want to happen, the last place you think you'd ever want to be, but, it was where the Lord had called me, and where I needed to be. Thank you Lord for John, for his smile, his friendship, his graciousness, generosity and kindess. Thank you for Lauren, I am so honored to call her my friend.



Coming home to a house full of guests, joyously celebrating my husbands birth was a surreal thing. It was a time of great thanksgiving for me, and I can't quite explain it in words right now, so I won't try.....

Sunday was the talent show at church, we needed to pack up KI's harp to bring it, and food for the pot luck too.. As we sat there in the pew, listening to the piano being played to welcome the arrival of folks after a long week, waiting for all the grand parents and uncle Rick and Aunt Alicia to arrive, Robs chest began to ache, with a pressure, with heat, he looked so pale, his heart was pounding so fast, he looked at me, with something I can honestly say that I don't think I have ever seen in his eyes, fear. We left the children with grandparents and fled to the hospital. They did every sort of test imaginable, the kept him over night, and most of the following monday, they found nothing. Insisting he come to the doctor for a 24 hour pack to monitor him, the following thursday and sent him home. So I took him and Caspian to the eye doctor appointment that was scheduled, we just got there in time. After that it was a sprint to get Caspian to boyscouts, and off to the store for Rob's medicine and other necessities...

Tuesday looked like it had great potential, it started off with laundry, now DAYS behind, and then the phone rang, Rob.... He didn't feel right.... He felt wierd.... Should he call the dr.? yes.... 5 minutes later the phone rings... He made the call.... he is in for late in the afternoon.... 5 minutes later, he doesn't think he wants to stay at work.... he wants to come home (is this MY working man?) I do NOT think he should drive 1 hour home.... NO way.... So I get a bit bossy, and tell him it is close enough to lunch, to ask a friend at work to drive him to the hospital...I call my mom, and ask her to meet me, find all the socks and shoes, put on the socks and shoes, Buddy fell asleep and peeeeed on my new couch, no time for a COW, gotta go go go, towel it up, dab with H2O and go go go.... Out door with new pants on, did they brush their teeth, it is dentist day!! I meet my mom at the hospital, she will take the kids to the dentist after lunch, sign a check and give it to her, off the blessings go.... In to the ER room with Rob......

They think it is his stomach... the lining is so inflamed, and the esophogus too, that it can cause the pressure he had been discribing... can't be certain... they send him home after a slew of tests, with a prescription, and please realize, it is April 15, and we still haven't had any moment to do the dreaded taxes! Yes it is about 3pm, and the clock is ticking in a VERY big way.... Off to pick up the children at Oma's house, rush to get medicine, drop off Rob at home to file for extention and even do the taxes, and I drive little Miss, to soccer.... Yes... soccer.... Home after 6 to figure out what to make for dinner.... Some time late in the night, the taxes were finally done...

Wednesday, I felt like I would drop.... But Rob did not go to work....he rested. We had an appointment with an ENT for Caspian, so my mom came out to watch the kids, wee took Caspian and found out we need further testing... Joy oh the Joy! Come home and dress for the wake.... john is still dead.... I hate this.. So we go. I made an early supper and we are off. With traffic it took a little more than an hour to get to the place. It is so hard. Lauren is being so strong....
after that, we went to an ice cream store to console our sorry selves. The place is packed with a big group of Christians, they were all so friendly and welcoming, and we had a nice visit, albeit short.

Thursday, I wake up with a migraine, and can not get another sitter, so I can not make it to the funeral. Rob has his appointment later, we do some school, and I set outside, (the meds kicking in) and start pulling things out of my flower garden... It feels good to do something so simple... It is so exciting to see what is coming out, who is building nests in which trees, oh and Buddy, is saying hellooooow to them all! Rob comes home and we have a dash to the dr. Come home and suprise suprise, he gets the bikes ready and says lets go for a ride to soccer! Yippee.... something normal.... Something fresh, and healthy, and not so static.. off we go! Caspian makes some new friends at the park, we meet the parents, and they are new to the area, and are Christians too :) how fun! My friend Cathy had stopped by and rode with us to the park with her foster children, and we all had so much fun, visiting, and playing at the park, Praise God, it was a busy day, but it ended so nicely!

Friday was a harp lesson for KI, and so the boys went to Oma's with school bird stuff and hiking info in hand... Oma's house has woods and they went exploring what was happening in the forest for school.! A very fun time. After harp lessons we, that would be Oma and I, went on line to hunt for more places to stay in Florida.. oh how fun that will be!
Friday night was date night, so the kids stayed at Omas (last minute decision), and Rob and I went out with Rick and Alica to see the movie EXPELLED. It was excellent, I highly recommend it!
Saturday was non stop errands and soccer game. yes the Beee's won! Go princess KI ! Go BEE's!
Sunday was church, come home and marinate the steaks, visit with my brother and his great kids, my blessings caught 6 frogs, and then head off to Nana's for a birthday celebration for her....

Monday was an early appointment with the Urologist for KI and Caspian, so Buddy was with Oma. After the appointment we went shopping for dresses for the wedding. Robs brothers wedding is in 3 weeks! We found me an outfit! It is beautiful, and very flattering... Then on an off chance we hit a little store, kind of boutique, in the Mexican neighborhood near my mom... Wow, this was the jackpot! These ladies had everything! It was beautiful.. We left with not one dress but two! Woo hoo! We are set (except for shoes) for the wedding! Mad dash to the healthclub(yes we joined somewhere in few weeks we were home) for an appointment for body/age assesment... oi vey... that is a blog in an of itself, and right now, I am just skimming, to catch you up! After the health club, it was off to boyscouts for Caspian and Rob... We stayed home and ate a steak salad, with asparagus, carrots, broccoli, broccoli slaw, tomato, basil, and homemade Balsamic dressing! Oh, feta too.... Then I worked out on my treadmill.

Tuesday was a gardening day. We gardened, went to the boyscout store, went to the health food store, went to the library. Breath. We love the library. Then we went to Costco, for pizza lunch, dropped of prescriptions, went to Meijer for KI needed new cleats.... Saw the friends from the park there, bought some seeds, came home unpacked, and immediately went to soccer. Rob came home close to 7, and the fish we had planned on having smelled to high heaven. Out to Chili's for supper..

Wedneday is today. My house is dirty, but I had to cancel my maid from coming today, as it is to messy for her to get to clean... So they are coming tomorrow, Praise God.. Today is just LAUNDRY, School, Laundry, Garden, Laundry, School, Laundry, Garden..... LAUNDRY!!! can you tell what has slipped since I was home? Then we will work out at the gym.... I better run and get the pot roast in the crock pot....

There you are all caught up! Whew.... did you even bother to read it all? : )