Flowers, Lovely Flowers

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I don't know about you, but I love flowers!
They are beautiful, I mean, didn't God say that NOT even Solomon in all his finery was more beautifully dressed than the Lily.. (this is not an exact quote.. but close) Flowers smell nice, and somehow, by design,
thanks to their Designer,
they hold HOPE,
freshness,
reminder of LIFE..
I think that is why so often at funerals we bring flowers, to encourage one another, to lift our spirits....
and I also think it is why when someone is ill, or downcast, FTD is called more than anyone else...
Flowers, send Flowers!
Bring a bouquet of Flowers!
Oh who doesn't enjoy walking past Flowers at the market? They are gorgeous! Even those of us with allergies, enjoy from a distance! They even make fake one's in attempt to "keep" that look forever.... but lets face it, as good as they look, they NEVER look as beautiful as the real deal, never.... For centuries artists have painted them, for as long as photography has been around the photographer has had to snap a photo of them, the gardener labor over them, they are adored! I am told in Holland if a family only had enough money for 2 loaves of bread they would have rather have 1 loaf and a bunch of fresh cut flowers, because the meal isn't the same with out the flowers, that somehow, their presence made that loaf stretch... I don't know if that would work in MY house with MY kids, but again Flowers are world around, LOVED....
There is a sign in the oncology unit that says

Fresh Flowers
Not Permitted
in Oncology Unit

It is so depressing! My mother Loves flowers, and each time a loved visitor arrives with a beautiful new arrangement, my father takes it home. The nurses offered to take it themselves (which REALLY did not please her), but she insisted they were HER flowers, and they belonged in HER home, even if SHE wasn't there, at least my Dad could enjoy them...

We thought at first this rule was due to allergies, and the fact her cancer in in her lungs, and could aggravate her asthma, but no. It seems that fresh flowers can carry a bacteria on them, as can fresh fruit. While this bacteria is mild, and would never harm the average person, (you or me) it could really make someone with a compromised immune system VERY ill, throwing them to who KNOWs what place health wise.... the nurse explaining it was rather dire....

It seems cancer patients have to REALLY wash their fruit and their flowers, or we who love them need to, before they can enjoy them...

I never knew this... no one ever told me. I don't know why. I have brought friends, and extended family flowers before when they were sick with cancer... did they think it would hurt my feelings?

it doesn't, I'd rather buy them a book, or a picture of flowers to hang on their depressing hospital wall, like a poster, or a GREAT cup of coffee/cocoa/or tea what ever is the favorite, some BASIC H or other veggie cleaner, for them to laugh, saying THIS will really KILL the bacteria so you might eat it! :)

I don't want to have ANYONE pussyfoot around me.... Tell me what your needs are now you have gotten ill, now that your whole world has changed, now that NOTHING seems the same... even if you want it to be...
I am not psychic, sometimes I am busy looking down, or talking, and I miss the "signs"...
I too need to become more learned about peoples trials... and am sorry to say that as much as I have learned about cancer, there is a lot I just don't know, didn't try to learn... but now, am studying to learn....

The Internet can be helpful I can learn a least a little bit from wikipedia, or webmd, mayo clinic, John Hopkins, about almost any illness, it won't take me more than 20-30 minutes to become familiar with it. I don't need to become an expert, I don't need to pretend I am an expert, but at least when my loved one talks to me, my eyes won't glaze over, and I can try to comprehend. Even learn something new to look up later.

What could be more important to learn about, what could matter more, than to learn about what they are going through? To be there for them, love them through their trial, as hard as it is? I have been the patient so many times, and always, the flowers cheered me, not always were they enough, but they cheered me,
they were THERE in the room when all had gone home,
when the conversations had seized
and it was just me
and the IV, and the beeping....
but what about when there are no flowers in a room,
what then?
are you just left with the memory of the conversation?

I sure hope it is a good one....