So I'm 38 now, and I have grey hair. There I have said it... many people know it.... they even comment on it.. Telling me how I am tooo young to let myself look so old anf frumpy..
NO! you say... no one would ever actually SAY that....
YES oh yes they do.. people just FEEL this need deep with in them to TELL me HOW "it" is .. you see? do you see? because I don't... I don't really care HOW they see, or WHAT they see, I wish they'd keep their little visions' to themselves...it plants horrible seeds of self doubt with in a girl... enough to make me want to move to mars!
So there it is..I look frumpy with my 'going grey hair"
along with the many 'meds' I am on, and the dramatic enviromental changes we've enjoyed returning to the states, I have enjoyed, or rather NOT enjoyed some weight gain...adding to that lable of "frump"
thank you SO much....
Feeling frumpy, and being TOLD you look frumpy are two wonderfully different things...
Then there are the liars... who tell you how MARVELOUS you look... and ya don't know whether to fall over when they tell ya that, or walk away.... Are they BLIND, do they need glasses? WHY even GO THERE? WHY do we, as a culture feel the NEED to discuss one anothers visual appearance to SUCH great lengths? JUST let IT GO....Can we talk about something OTHER than how we LOOK?
so I colored my hair... I did... I colored it last week, HAD it done professionally and everything, and EVEN got it cut...
it looks pretty...
and ....
I got totally ILL...
not just like the flu ill
like (^%*^)#*&)@*#& GONNA FREAKOUT&DIE sort of ill.
why...?
probably because I AM TOXIC and can NOT handle the chemical overload !
so as I study more and more about Chemical injury, I feel more and more like a dunce....
realizing, I injured myself to look a LITTLE, just a tiny little bit prettier for my man at Christmas time....
sooo not worth it...
next time....
some henna and a good hair cut!
I can not explain the absolute PAIN and terror of what I experienced these past few days... and don't want to bore anyone with this... I also know that I have a habbit of making LITE my illness', making lite my suffering, and in doing so, others think all is well... that perhaps I am just a little "depressed"... being a bit reclusive, too quiet...etc
Well. I am not depressed... I am quite happy... my pain is subsiding... my dryer works... My Christmas tree is finally decorated, I can walk again. I can talk again. (yes for a time I could do neither) I just can not talk very animated, or loud.. I am monotoned because anything else makes my mind throb.... I walk slow, talk slow, think slow, sometimes I even shake, because I have suffered something horrible... because I wanted to look PRETTY for my husband, next time I will buy a dress.
I am excited that I seem to be healing. I am excited that I KNOW what caused my migraine this time. I am so thankful for pain meds to get me through the cycle, for I don't think I would have made it otherwise.
If you want to learn more about Chemical Injury, or Multiple Chemical Sensitivies please start here...
http://www.chemicalinjury.net/index.htm
and think twice before ya tell someone how frumpy they look because you "think" they OUGHT to know...
but don't lie if they look bad... just make note, pray and move on... see what's going on, on the INSIDE, if they'll LET you in.... if not... that might say a lot right there......... and pray..
blessings to you and love and peace and grace...
really...
from a frumpy girl with GREAT hair!
:)
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3 comments:
Wow!! You are right, I can't believe people would say that, but for sure people do a lot of things I would think they wouldn't! I think its funny how people will say "Well, you look great!" if i say I haven't been feeling well. I know its a compliment, but I almost think maybe they don't believe how I feel. Or of course maybe they're lying - actually these are usually people who didn't know me before I got sick. Those people never tell me I look great! Ha, Ha!! Either way, you are right - better just not to comment on physical appearances at all!
Glad you are beginning to feel better from your hair coloring experience. You poor thing!! I know how wonderful it is to come out of such an awful time - praying it lasts!
you are darling! Thank you for the prayers :) Just as awful as it is to be on the receiving end of such comments, I NEED to be aware of doing the same thing my self! :)
I hope that I am able to continue to recover from this... I plan on hitting the healthfood store for some additional detox stuff tomorrow :)
blessings to you Trish!
Oh.My.Word! Someone actually told you you look frumpy!!!!!! Was it a bestest best friend? or hunky? Can I give them a talking to?
And, you do look marvelous to me- because I look past the gray hair and the invisible weight gain and see YOU. And you are gorgeous and beautiful.
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